Laubach's Journey to Congo: Trip Notes #1

So, I’ve been struggling with posting about the trip to the DRC to pick up Caleb. How does one fit nearly six weeks worth of events into a little blog post? I certainly don’t know how to do that, but in the end, I’ve decided that I will try to highlight our trip in three or four posts.

Our trip began on October 31, as many of you may have seen. We flew from Harrisburg to Washington D.C. to Brussels and on to Kinshasa, with a stop to refuel in Cameroon. We left on a Sunday after lunch and arrived at St. Anne’s in Kinshasa where we’d be staying at bedtime on Monday. With the excitement and jet lag, we didn’t sleep much the first night. The plan was for my sister-in-law and me to get our children at 9 am the next morning. We, of course, were up very early with anticipation. We waited and waited and waited. Finally, somewhere around noon, the coordinator arrived carrying my niece inside. I was snapping photos and videotaping Andi’s first meeting with her mama. Now, you all need to know that I was THRILLED to be seeing my niece for the first time, but after a minute or two of taking pictures, I was getting anxious to meet Caleb. I asked where my son was, thinking she would go and bring him to me, but instead, she told me there’d been a problem. He’d been taken (kidnapped from the orphanage) that morning. I can’t begin to describe the emotions that were running through me. Even though I had not yet met Caleb, I loved him as much as I loved Emily, Chase, Hallie & Cameron. I was sad (really sad!), angry, frustrated (come all the way to Africa and not get our child????!!), panic-stricken (was he safe?), etc.

Here's a picture of Vickie and our beautiful niece, Andi

Through the coordinator’s broken English, I learned that Caleb’s birth mother had heard from someone on the street that he had been sold after she put him up for adoption. She didn’t want him to be sold; she wanted him to be adopted. Additionally, if the coordinator had sold him, his birth mother hadn’t got any of the money. The coordinator felt that if I would speak with her and explain that all of my money went through the agency and that we did not BUY him, but adopt him, the birth mother would understand. Thus, began a chase to find Caleb and “M” (his birth mother). Vickie and I were put in a car with her new daughter and taken to sections of Kinshasa I’m sure we never would have seen. We were in villages sitting in the car while the driver and coordinator asked people if they’d seen them. At times, we felt very insecure – after all, we had NO idea where we were, we hadn’t registered with the Embassy, so no one “important” knew we were even in the DRC, Andi was hungry and not completely sure what was going on. Since “M” is homeless, she was hard to track down. Finally, after several hours and no success, we returned to St. Anne’s to allow the coordinator to continue the search.

I remember arriving back to St. Anne’s feeling completely helpless and hopeless. Up until that point, I hadn’t shown a lot of emotion, but had rather been focused on finding Caleb. And, truthfully, there was NOT ONE thing I could do. I remember Vickie trying to give me a hug, as I’m sure she felt my pain. All I wanted to do was go to my room and cry. I remember calling George and telling him that we didn’t have Caleb and that I did not know what the outcome would be. I envisioned stepping off the plane without Caleb, seeing the faces of his siblings.

This went on for four days. This was one of the hardest weeks of my life. The only bright spot was sweet Andi.:) Finally, on Friday, I was told that I would be picking Caleb up at a courthouse because they ended up having to arrest “M”. Below is the email I sent home a few days after going to the courthouse.

“….Caleb is soooo sweet! It was love at first sight, which I knew because I loved him for months before seeing him.

This has been such a broken road, though. His gotcha day was not what I would've imagined in my wildest dreams!

I was taken to court last Friday. I thought I was just going to pick Caleb up - had no idea how the events would unfold.

I was told to wait in the car with three bodyguards. There was so much noise and people were coming up looking in the windows.

The attorney came out and told me that a judge had ruled in favor of birth mother and that we would have to come back Monday to appeal. I was totally crushed and started to cry.

All of a sudden the attorney came running out of the building again and said in broken English, "come!” I quickly followed through a crowd of people at dusk (the bus loaded with criminals had just left for jail and a large crowd had gathered and was very noisy - story in itself). Anyhow, I arrived at a building where they wouldn't let my bodyguards in. I was told to follow a long dimly lit hall with holes and rickety steps past men armed with machine guns. I entered a dimly lit room with eight or nine people. It was hot and there were mosquitoes everywhere. Oddly enough, there was a TV playing that continued to play during the whole hearing.

I was shaking like crazy. It was all I could do to not cry because I had just been told Caleb was going to be with birth mother. This court room was not what I had imagined. The two sides sat across from each other on old sofas. As I sat on the edge of the couch, trying not to look nervous, I scanned the room to look at faces. There was the judge with two men that were clearly his assistants, four attorneys and a couple other people. As I glanced around the room, there across from me was Caleb. I had no idea he would be there and seeing him for the first time took my breath away. I will forever remember that feeling.

The entire court was in French and Lingala, so I had no idea what they were saying. I decided to just pray and to focus on Caleb. I kept wondering if it would be the first and LAST time I ever saw him. I was praying that wouldn't be the case, while trying to soak him all up in case it was. By the time court was over, Caleb was squealing at me and smiling every time our eyes met. When the judge (who felt more like a mafia boss) stood, I had no clue what had been decided until a man went and got Caleb from his birth mother and put him in my lap. He was slobbering all over me and putting his dirty hands in my mouth. He smelled like you WOULD NOT believe! He had on only a swimsuit and a shammy cloth for a diaper held on with a plastic bag. The diaper had clearly been soiled for DAYS. I kissed him and hugged him despite the dirt and stench. I told the birth mother how beautiful he was and how much George and I would love him and care for him.

I was (am) so mad at her for all we'd been through; yet I love her for bringing Caleb into this world. Incidentally she smelled too! In fact, her attorney took out a bottle of deodorant and showed it to her before sending her over to sit by me. Everyone in the room laughed and even though the conversation was in French, I completely understood that.

Since the legal systems here are not "normal" by our standards, I came away from court with not only Caleb, but also his birth mother. We were ordered to house her at St. Anne’s until we depart the country.

By the time we left the court building, it was well past dark. As soon as I passed the men with the machine guns, a bodyguard grabbed Caleb and two others quickly ushered me to the van. The birth mother followed. The van was quickly surrounded by people asking what had happened. Several members of Caleb's birth family were there introducing themselves. I couldn't see their faces because they blended with the darkness. They were shaking my hand and speaking, though I couldn't understand a word and was too filled with emotion to even think clearly. I was just praying for safety and thanking God for the smelly baby in my lap.

We returned to St. Anne’s, but not without excitement. The driver, coordinator and bodyguards got in a fight and one of the guards came flying over the third seat and jumped out of our (slowly) moving van. They were yelling and screaming. I was scared, but the rest of the people in the van acted like stuff like that happens all the time.

When we arrived back at St. Anne's, a crowd of birth family had gathered there. I walked past them and into the safety of St. Anne’s. Found Vickie in the dining room eating a late supper. We hugged and cried and she told me that Caleb smelled. Nice auntie, huh?! J

After a picture or two (which were my first "gotcha day" pics) with the bodyguards, we gave Caleb his first SCRUB. It would take four baths to have him smell like a baby should.

Ok...I know this is long, but this is only a glimpse - and I mean glimpse - of what's been happening. In fact, it only covers a few hours from Friday night….”

So, that gives you all a small picture of what my first week in the D.R. Congo was like. As you can see, it’s not the typical “Gotcha Day!” But, being at home where I am now WITH Caleb, his daddy and his siblings, I can look back and see how GOOD God is! We were kept safe despite some pretty scary and uncertain circumstances. We met WONDERFUL people! I can’t say enough about the St. Anne’s staff. Father Theo was AWESOME!!! The other guests there were unbelievably supportive. I would later learn that many thought I would NEVER end up being able to bring Caleb home, but God is BIGGER than that!

Here's our first picutre of Caleb and me together with Vickie and Andi upon our arrival back to St. Anne's after court - and, of course, our bodyguards for two days.....:)