Our Gotcha Day Video

I am SOOOO happy to have this done!  I finally gave up on doing it myself and had a computer wiz at our high school help me.  HE'S AWESOME!!! 

My only regret about this video is that we don't have more photos of Kinshasa and the people.  Unfortunately, it is not recommended to take pictures in public, so we only have a few that we snapped from a moving vehicle.

Life with Caleb is going great.  He's so much HAPPIER and HEALTHIER than he was in Kinshasa and on our trip back to PA. 

Stop my blog music at the bottom of the page and enjoy the video.  Blessings to you all!

Trip Notes #5

January 31, 2011

Vickie and I had often talked about the day when we would FINALLY get to fly home.  We had tried to “plan” what that day would be like.  In preparation, we had some of our things packed in case we had to leave quickly.  We knew we have to make A LOT of photocopies after getting our DGM letter.  We also had to pay our hotel bill, pack the remainder of our things, line up a driver, etc.  EVERY time we talked about flying home, I’d tell Vickie, “The LAST thing I’m doing before leaving for the airport is taking a shower.”  It was hot, sticky, and dirty and I wanted to get on the plane for the long ride home feeling as “fresh” as possible.  I also joked and said that I was going to blow dry my hair.  The one time when I tried to dry my hair was quite funny.  I’d blow dry for ten seconds, and then the breaker would trip.  I’d turn off the blow dryer, run down the hall, flip the breaker, run back, turn on the blow dryer for another ten seconds, and the cycle would repeat itself.  I did this about ten times and was so sweaty from running back and forth down the hall with Caleb in tow, that I gave up.  I said that the day we left, I was going to pay someone to STAND by the breaker box and flip the switch for me every time it went off.  Anyhow, to accomplish our list of things to do before leaving Congo, we figured we would have to have our letter in hand by 12:30pm.  Fr. Theo told us that for our flight, we should leave St. Anne’s by 4:30pm. 

Last post I mentioned that the flights were VERY limited and that we were hoping to be able to fly on Dec. 9^th.  When Thursday, the 9^th, arrived, Caleb was still sick.  Fr. Theo once again had Matthew, his driver, take us to the hospital.  We went for the better part of the morning for his exam and blood work.  We got our lab number on a piece of cardboard and then returned an hour or so later.  The doctor that Caleb had before was not in on this particular day, so we had a different doctor who did NOT speak English.  We were doing sign language during our conversation.  One word I clearly understood was malaria.  Literally, while I was in front of the doctor having this sign-language-style conversation, Vickie called and said that she thought we might be getting our DGM letter.  I quickly told the doctor that I was flying to America.  He told me to take Caleb to the hospital as soon as we arrived.  I promised I would, and the driver and I returned to St. Anne’s.  By this time, it was around 2pm. 

There was some confusion as to whether or not WE (not just the coordinator) had to be present at DGM and ultimately, we did.  I knew at this point that if we were going to make the flight, my shower was down the tubes.  Not only was I not going to get a shower, but I had been in a small, crowded, un-air-conditioned waiting room bouncing a sick and fussy baby all morning.  The same thing happened at DGM.  The office we were in was VERY small.  The kids were fussy because it was nap time.  And, folks, let me tell you, WE WERE WATCHING THE CLOCK!!!  We felt such a sense of urgency to get that letter and get on the plane.  I remember telling Vickie that since we had tickets, we had to at least TRY to get to the airport regardless of what time we got our letter. 

This was a real test of patience as we were at the Director’s mercy waiting for his signature.  That’s all – just a signature, so why did it take ALL day????  Anyhow, 4:00 came and went and finally the DGM worker came down with our folders.  He had a look of satisfaction on his face – kind of like “See?  I told you you’d have your letters today.”  Vickie and I had looks on our faces like, “Come on!  Hurry Up!  Just give us the letters already!”  He began flipping through our folders page by page when I noticed that a signature was missing.  He quickly took the folders and ran back up to the director’s office to wait for his signature – again.  By this time, we were having a conversation with Teetee (our coordinator) about having copies made.  We were telling her that it would have to be somewhere that could do a LOT of copies QUICK.  We kept stressing, “Teetee, we have to be SO FAST!  We will miss our flight!”  We called Fr. Theo and told him that we got our letters and wanted to fly out that evening.  We were the only ones scheduled to go to the airport, so the driver would wait for us.  We were finally taking these children home to the rest of their families!

                                  

We got our letters and Teetee told us “NO Worries.  Follow me.  We will get your copies QUICK.”  I was thinking, “Phew, she gets it that we need QUICK copies.”  We followed her around the corner and there ON THE GROUND along the street was a copier with a cord running from who knows where.  There was a woman on her knees feeding one page at a time into an old copier.  I thought I’d have a heart attack!  She began copying our documents when we noticed her grocery bag of paper was nearly empty (another heart attack).  We told her we’d have LOTS of copies and to please get more paper.  She sent someone running and he came back with paper.  She made the copies while another gentleman correlated and stapled my documents.  When my folder was finished, Teetee began reviewing it while they began the process of copying and stapling Vickie’s documents.  All of a sudden, Teetee got a worried look and began shaking her head and saying, “No, no, no” while she was looking at my documents.  I was looking at her saying, “What?  What?”  I know my voice got louder.  She showed me my exit letter (the piece of paper we’d been waiting for that would let us leave the Congo airport).  Halfway through my letter, it switched from “George & Hope” to “George & Vickie”.  Ok, now I DEFINITELY was having a heart attack.  Teetee left us on the corner with the copy lady who continued to work on Vickie’s documents.  She ran to DGM to have the Director fix the letter.  She came back shortly and told us the Director had left for the day.  My heart was ready to pound OUT OF MY CHEST!  The new plan was for Teetee to go to the airport with us.  If DGM at the airport gave us a hard time, she had the phone number for the DGM worker she had spoken with and she was to call him. 

At this point, I knew it would take a miracle for us to get on the plane.  It was past 4:30 and we hadn’t even gotten back to St. Anne’s yet.  When we got back to St. Anne’s, we quickly ran up those dreaded steps.  Fr. Theo must’ve told some of the workers that we got our exit letter because it seemed like there were people there asking if our bags were ready, what they could do to help, etc.  Well, let me tell you, we left a LOT of our stuff behind.  We took the necessities and our souvenirs.  Our room still looked lived in when we left for the airport.  We figured the St. Anne’s workers would take what they wanted and SOMEONE else would want what they didn’t.   We paid Fr. Theo, posed for a quick photo and were on our way.  Our stop at St. Anne’s to pack, pay our bill, change diapers, etc. had taken not a second longer than 22 minutes!!
                                     

As a side note and to give readers an idea of what it generally looks like in Congo, when I got in the van, I had all of this “loose stuff” that hadn’t been put in my suitcase.  I was cleaning out my backpack from the day.  I had a dirty diaper, empty water bottles, etc.  A St. Anne’s worker in the van asked me if it was garbage and held out his hands.  I said, “Yes, thank you”, thinking he’d put it in a garbage bag.  He took the items from me, opened the van window and heaved it out as we were driving down the road.  I was flabbergasted, then looked around at my surroundings and thought, “That’s what EVERYONE does.”  That’s part of Congo.  It’s no wonder I’d been stepping over trash every where I walked the last 40 days!  

We arrived at the airport and got checked in with the help of the protocol Fr. Theo provided (the BEST $20 ever spent!).  The protocol helped us get our tickets (which were handwritten, by the way), navigate the airport, which was not at all big, just confusing, and slipped the appropriate people money to allow us to take our souvenirs home (which, by the way, should NOT have been an issue since they sell the same souvenirs IN the airport).  He and Teetee also got us through DGM.  When we cleared DGM and stood in front of the massive solid wooden doors to enter the only terminal at the airport, I had a feeling of sadness.  Why?  Don’t get me wrong – I could NOT wait to get home!  Forty days was too long, but in those forty days, this Congo craziness had become a norm to me.  It had given me an understanding of why there are so many orphans, why there’s such poverty and corruption.  And, I felt sad that I was taking Caleb away from his heritage.  I was sad to say “good-bye” to Matthew from St. Anne’s, my hospital buddy who had navigated me to various pharmacies, through the hospital, the lab and our admission process.  He was also our driver and our airport protocol.  And Teetee, our coordinator - I was sad to say “good-bye” to her.  We had been in Congo 40 days and had seen her EVERY day except one or two.  She had worked incessantly to assure that Caleb and Andee would be able to be adopted to America.  Strange that I couldn’t wait to leave; yet, I was sad doing so.

                                                               
                                                          
Once in the terminal, we commented about how gross we felt, how sweaty we were, etc.  Caleb had a raging fever.  I tried to give him his purple medicine we hadn’t gotten earlier in the day.  He puked all over me, even in the ends of my hair.  There was not ONE working sink in the women’s restroom at the airport.  The workers took me to the men’s room, where one sink managed to trickle a little water.  The feeling of being gross and needing a shower was NOT going away!  There was no place to change our clothes, but we changed the kids.  An airport worker kept the clothing, even though it was quite dirty.  I left my Birkenstocks under a chair in the airport and put sneakers on so I didn’t have to carry them and I knew I’d be coming home to cold weather. 

We boarded the plane close to midnight.  There was no rest for the weary as poor Caleb was getting worse.  His temp was high and he could not get comfortable.  Some man behind us kept going, “Shhh!!” every time he even whimpered.  I finally stood up, went over to him and told him to get over himself.  I was sorry, but my son was sick and he was just going to have to deal with it.  Saying “Shhh!” loudly was certainly more annoying than Caleb’s whimpering.  And, it wasn’t like I wasn’t trying.  Good Grief - I stood, walked and bounced nearly the ENTIRE flight (which was NOT short!).  It just added to my sweat and stickiness!

Our first stop was Belgium.  We had a five-hour layover, so the plan was to “shower” in the sinks, change our clothes, brush our teeth, etc.  Somehow I was determined to not look bad when I stepped off that plane in PA!  Come to find out, there was an error with our ticket, which took HOURS to straighten out.  So much for freshening up!  Instead, the United worker ran ahead pushing Caleb in the stroller, while we followed trying to make our flight (Still haven’t figured out how one can have a five-hour layover and almost miss their next flight!  Oh well…).

Finally, on this plane, we used the bathroom to change our clothes and “freshen up”.   I threw away EVERYTHING I had on when we left the Congo (the puked on shirt, etc.) as soon as we landed in Washington, D.C.  This flight wasn’t as full and Vickie and I had our own rows to stretch out.  It was strange that, with the exception of our hospital stay, we’d been together 24/7 for 40 days and here, on our last flight together, before she’d head to Hawaii and I’d head to PA from Dulles, we weren’t sitting together.  Caleb and Andee were definitely bonded and if one cried, the other was looking to see what was wrong.  Caleb was still sick, but was quieter on this flight. 

Alas, what we’d prayed for since Oct. 31 and now on Dec. 10, it would happen - U.S. Soil!!!  Going through Immigrations and customs was not an issue and was quite simple.  The pilot had told us that there were seven planes in front of us, but it wasn’t that bad.  Saying “good-bye” to Vickie and Andee?   Now that was hard.  I knew it’d be a year or more before we’d see each other again.  We had experienced something together that was unique to two sisters-in-laws.  We had lost and found Caleb, we had both lived through the ups and downs and the volatility of International adoption, and we had lived in Congo, our children’s birth country. We had experienced court and hospitalization.  With me on the inside, Vickie on the outside and God on our both our sides, we’d made it.  Sisters-in-law, but now really more like sisters, bonded for life.   Fortunately, there was only enough time to shed a few tears before we both had to catch our flights out of Dulles.  We said quick good-byes and were on our way.  Vickie would continue on all the way to Hawaii while I only had a quick flight to Harrisburg.

Stepping off the plane in Harrisburg was EMOTIONAL!  George and the kids, my faithful sister, Kara, my brother, Matt and his family, and my parents were all there to greet us at the airport.  Emily was the first to come hug us with her tear-filled eyes.  The kids were awesome – both to me and to Caleb.  They were anxious to meet him.
                             


                              


                                    Poor Caleb wasn’t as anxious as they were!
                                       



In the end, we got home, slept a couple of hours and headed to Geisinger Medical Center, where he was admitted for the weekend.   Here's our little man enjoying the selection of toys at the Janet Weiss Childrens Hospital.

        And, here we are - waiting for our family so we can go home to stay......finally!  

Thank you, Everyone, for praying for us on this journey.  Since I’ve been home, I’ve told many people that we could “feel” people praying for us.  And, it’s true.  God’s hand in this process was evident over and over again.

***Thus concludes the traveling part of our adoption process, but we’ll continue to keep the blog updated with photos and DRC news, family news, etc.

 

Readers Comments - My apology

Ok, so I have NEVER claimed to be technologically smart, or even technologically competent for that matter....

I just "found" a WHOLE BUNCH of comments that some of you have made - many while I was in Congo, some from before, and some from recently.  I apologize for not commenting back.  I've never clicked on the "comments" tab before.  I promise to do better in the future!  :)

Congo Trip Notes #4 - More Waiting and VISAS!!!!!!

While Caleb and I were in the hospital, Vickie continued to have contact with the U.S. Embassy regarding our visas.  She was an unbelievable liason – checking with the consular, texting me regularly with any developments, researching the forms the Embassy uses, etc.  Waiting is NEVER fun and this type of waiting felt useless.  We were frustrated and emotionally spent.  We’d been in the D.R. Congo since November 1 and, other than court, the Embassy, the hospital and the market across the street, we hadn’t left St. Anne’s.  It was getting OLD!

Just when I thought I couldn’t take another day, some American families arrived.  They were a breath of fresh air!  There’s safety in numbers, so we were able to go out for dinner.  Our first adventure was to Hunga Busta’s, a pizza place, where we had Thanksgiving dinner with our new friends!

The next several days would involve more and more (and more and more…) waiting.  While we waited, not without discouragement at times, our husbands and some good friends back in the USA worked diligently making phone calls to do ANYTHING to get these visas issued.  My brother-in-law spoke with Hillary Clinton’s executive secretary.  They both called congressmen and people in the State Dept.  A good friend of ours made phone calls to congressmen while he was on vacation in Disney World (thanks, Pres!).

While they made phone calls and worked from the United States, Vickie and I continued to bond with Andee and Caleb.  We had times where we were both discouraged, but, for the most part, if I was down, Vickie was up and vice versa.  We were great friends before the trip, but spending this amount of time together, sharing a room for THAT long, bonded us for sure!

One day during our journey, we were both feeling kind of “blue” (well, blue might be an understatement!  We were both REALLY, REALLY discouraged!).  I pulled out a piece of notebook paper and pen and told Vickie we weren’t going to do anything else until we made a list of things we were thankful for.  And, ya know what?  It only took about FIVE minutes and the page was ALMOST full!  By the end of our trip, we could have OVERFILLED the page (with new friends, more children with their forever families, etc.).  Despite the circumstances, we both had SO much for which to be thankful.  God is sooo good!  We hung the list with a paper clip (we made due with what we had) to our mirror where we would see it every time we brushed our teeth, washed our hands, etc.

We also continued to spend time with other adoptive families.  It was refreshing at the end of the days to be able to share a meal with other Americans and their BEAUTIFUL new children.  TOTALLY a BLESSING!

Finally, On Dec. 1^st, the Embassy called us through Father Theo.  Poor Father Theo, the Embassy had called him before and each time, he’d have to run up several flights of stairs to our room to give us the phone.  He was always excited to tell us we had a call from the Consular.  Being an optimist, he thought for sure they were calling to tell us our visas were issued.  After several disappointments, we were no longer getting our hopes up.  This time, however, they told Fr. Theo to have us come over to pick up our American passports.  Vickie and I both kind of held our breath as we checked for OUR (adult)passports, knowing we hadn’t left our passports with the official who took them every time we entered the embassy.  Sure enough, Vickie and I both had our passports in hand.  Could it be that they meant the children had American passports there?  Hmmm….we rushed around and packed the kids up in their pouches to walk to the embassy.  By the time we got there, we were sure Father Theo had misunderstood the call and that it was just REGARDING the passports, not to pick them up.  What little faith! 

Yeah!!!  We got GREAT news!  The kids’ visas were being prepared!!!  We hugged and cried, knowing that the end was now FINALLY in sight!  Two of our new friends just happened to be at the Embassy when we got the news as well.  They’d seen our frustration in waiting and then got to share in our relief and joy as we got the good news.  The security guards at the Embassy doors, joined in our excitement.  These men had gotten to know us well.  When they’d see us walking down the street, they would begin to yell, “Come in, Mrs. Laubachs!”  They had checked at least one of us (Vickie while we were hospitalized) in at the embassy nearly EVERY day for three weeks.  They hugged us and posed for a picture.  J

When we arrived back at St. Anne’s, Father Theo gave us greeted us with hugs!  We did the “visa dance” and took our Congolese coordinator out for pizza (her choice – she doesn’t get pizza often!). 

My Facebook post from my phone that afternoon read, “Thank you, Lord, for our Christmas gift – visas!”  The end was in sight!

Trip Notes #3 Hospital Stay

Before I go any further in talking about this trip, I have to stop and remind myself and all of you that – Hey, we ARE home!  From start to finish, Caleb’s adoption took less than 10 months, similar to a slightly “overdue” pregnancy.  J  So, while the obstacles seemed big and numerous, we are home, healthy and happy.  It’s easy to focus on the negatives, but that’s not what I want this blog to be about.  I want to tell about our journey, but I want you also to see the need to in the D.R. Congo - how it and many other countries differ from ours.  Mostly, I want you to see how worth it is to overcome the bumps of International adoption to bring a child home.

Ok, now that that is off my chest.....Fast forward from my last post to the week of Nov. 15^th

Caleb’s birthmother left St. Anne’s after staying there for over a week.  This was an answer to prayer.  While it was ok having her with us, I think it was confusing for Caleb.  It also stressed me out because even though I have mothered other babies, I felt like I had to be “perfect”.  It was a lot of pressure (mostly self-induced, but still….).

A couple days after she left, Caleb developed a fever.  Having four other children, I am NOT quick to run to the doctor, ESPECIALLY in the Congo.  I kept thinking it was teeth, a virus, etc.  Also, I was so emotionally spent, exhausted, etc., it was hard to make a decisions.  I was dreading the medical care Congo had to offer.

After a couple of days, Vickie (THANK YOU, Vickie, by the wayJ) basically insisted I take Caleb to the doctor.  I told Fr. Theo that he had a temp for a couple of days and within minutes, he had arranged a driver and called an English-speaking doctor at a local medical center.   The driver was a huge help.  He lead me from small building to small building, small room to small room, as we paid our bill FIRST in one building, went to another to be examined, another for lab work, etc.  After the lab work, we were given a piece of cardboard with a number that they had written on the slide and told to come back in a couple of hours.  We weren’t back at St. Anne’s long, when the driver knocked on our door and told me we needed to go.  The doctor had called and told him to bring us back to the hospital right away.

When we returned, the doctor told me Caleb would have to be admitted, that he was very ill with malaria.  They asked for a hundred dollar deposit towards his stay.  Then they took us to what would be our room for the next six nights.  For all of you medical people (Hi Geisinger Friends!) – the hospital was NOTHING like we are used to.  I quickly scanned the room while the driver was still with me and asked about drinking water.  “No, no drinking water here”, said the nurse.  “How ‘bout toilet paper (I was thinking about ME, at this point, not Caleb)?”  “No, no toilet paper here.”  Hmmm…..ok……”How ‘bout meals?”  “No, no meals.  Your family will bring you these things.”  “HELLO!!!!!!!  MY Family????  I’m White!  No family here in the Congo!”  J  So, no towels, no pillow, no soap, etc. 

The driver went to St. Anne’s for me and I texted Vickie a list of things I’d need.  Unfortunately, the only real food we had in our room was tuna, so we ate that for the first couple of meals (Yes, tuna for breakfast...yuk!).  Fr. Theo came and brought me some mango and bread and Vickie did a great job of utilizing anyone that was coming in my direction to send food, water, etc.  And, our dear friend from St. Anne’s, Leone, came and visited me on several occasions.  She went to the store for us, went to the pharmacy (did I mention that they started the IV and handed me prescriptions to fill?!), and spent time visiting with me, which kept me from going CRAZY!! The people from St. Anne’s were such a blessing during the whole trip. 

I remember being kinda scared because I didn’t know where I was, if it was safe, etc.  Also, I’d never stayed in a hospital before where the PATIENT locked the door from the inside.  It was all so strange.  I remember texting George and my parents saying, “God is really stretching me too far….”  I was so thankful for the memory verses learned.  In the hospital, the verses that played in my mind were "My grace is sufficient for you..." and "Trust in the Lord with all your heart..."  Great sources of comfort!

In hind sight, which is ALWAYS 20/20 :), it was great bonding for Caleb and me.  He wanted nothing except his mama and I spent 24/7 loving on him (and reading ALL four books I had brought from home).  There was NOTHING for me to do except focus on him. 

The Congo hospital stay was an experience in itself.  While the care seemed a bit barbaric and definitely antiquated by U.S. standards, the people were nice. 

And, for all of you OR nurses, the nurses look SO nice coming to work even though they change when they get there. 

They were all amused at the English-speaking White person. Those who were trying to learn English stopped by frequently during the days to chat.  The student nurse pictured above is Evelyn.  She LOVED to speak English as she had recently learned a little bit of our language.  The patients that spoke English also knocked on my door and said they wanted to speak to me in my language.  One mother knocked on my door at 5:00 in the morning.  She had heard Caleb crying and wanted to tell me that maybe he was hungry or needed a diaper change.  She told me that she had four children.  Sweet of her to want to help, but I had already figured that one out!  I shouldn't be so cocky, though, because the last morning, she also heard me getting sick to my stomach and came to see if I was ok and to offer to help with Caleb while I was ill.  Sweet, sweet lady!

I had said several times during the adoption process that I wasn’t sure why God lead us to adopt from the Congo.  I’m sure there are many reasons, but in the hospital, I got one answer.  The doctors told me that if Caleb wasn’t being adopted, he would die.   They said without money for proper medical care, etc, he would be a statistic of malaria.  And, believe me, even with “proper” medical care, there were a couple of days where I wondered if he’d live to meet the rest of his family.

BUT, as I’ve said before, God took care of Caleb (and me)!  

Here he's looking out the window thinking, "Ok, Driver, you can come get us now! I'm feelin' better!"

 St. Anne's had begun to feel like home, so we were excited to get to leave the hospital for our room there..  Even though it was not home, it was a step closer.  So, you may wonder what a six-night, seven-day hospital stay costs in the D.R. Congo since health insurance doesn't cover it?  I mentioned the $100 deposit and when we were discharged, we owed another $265, for a total of $365 or a little over $60/day.  No wonder they didn't provide a pillow or toilet paper!  With the medicines that we had to buy over the course of the week, it costs around $600 - a small fraction of what it would have cost in the U.S.

                   Our room had been just through this door

That's all for tonight.  I'm out of steam.....to be continued.

Have a great night!

Trip Notes#2 - More Court and Waiting

The first night with Caleb wasn’t what I expected.  He slept ALL night long.  Poor guy – he was probably exhausted after his ordeal in jail.  Problem was he wouldn’t take a bottle or eat.  The next morning at breakfast, he ate a piece of bread and a little fruit.  We were told that I would have to return to court to “sign papers”.  Now, Folks, in America, if one goes to “sign” papers, it takes about – oh - maybe five minutes.  I knew in the Congo it’d take a little longer than that.  I packed a bottle and some bread in my bag and headed off with the driver and bodyguards around 9:30.  I was totally unprepared as this “signing of papers” took until 4:00 in the afternoon!!  It gave me a new appreciation of why adoption paperwork in third world countries can take so long to process.

First, we were in a room smaller than our bedroom at home.  It had four desks with men working at them.  Around each desk were four chairs for people like us to sit.  I was with “M” (Caleb’s birth mother).  We were in a court room different than the one where our hearing had been held.  This one was not as scary, but it was so crowded!  It was hot and we were not able to leave the room ALL day.  I sat (and stood when Caleb cried) the WHOLE day.  We watched the judge HAND-WRITE nine pages of documents with CARBON paper!!  There were no computers, no typewriters, nothing electronic.  There were cardboard boxes stacked to the ceiling that were smashed, hanging open, etc.  These boxes housed all the previous court records.  I was praying my documents would never get lost because I knew what they would have to go through to find them as I watched a worker dig through several boxes without success. 

I was unprepared as I hadn’t packed much for Caleb.  The bread was gone by 10:00 and he wouldn’t take the bottle.  I had no way to console him at that point; he was plain HUNGRY.  “M” left court and returned with some kind of drinkable yogurt.  Caleb drank it fast and furiously.  I asked another man to get two more for him.  I then noticed that even though it looked like yogurt, it said, “Energie” on the side.  I couldn’t read the other French words, but when I went the to the yogurt section at the market the next day, this drinkable yogurt was not there.  Instead, I found it with the “Monster” drinks.  YIKES!!  Anyhow, it proved to be a good  “transition” drink as I put it in Caleb’s bottle a time or two mixed with some formula until he was drinking only formula. 

...........Here's a photo of a VERY KIND gentleman helping me entertain Caleb during the LONG court day.  This man holds a special place in my heart as he was also the one who had handed Caleb to me for the FIRST time in court the night before.

After spending the whole day in court on Saturday, I was anxious to have a “normal day” with Caleb.  On Sunday, we spent the day getting to know each other outside of a court.  While we didn’t actually attend church, we walked outside and listened to the music of the churches at St. Anne’s (AWESOME!).  Vickie thought that maybe we’d leave the DRC the following weekend.  We expected to get our visas within a few days, go to DGM for a few days and leave the D.R.C immediately after. 

Well, the first day after getting Caleb that the Embassy was open, we were there bright and early.  And, it wasn’t for our visa appointment.  We went because there was concern that more arrests or re-arrests were occurring.  Our coordinator feared she’d be thrown in jail (that would NOT have been good as we needed her help to finish paperwork to leave the DRC).  The thought crossed my mind that maybe we’d ALL get put in jail (REALLY not good for two White women in the Congo!).  Accusations went away as the rumors circulating were PROVED FALSE.  But, the result was that the Embassy had to launch a FULL investigation before issuing our children’s visas.  And this process would NOT be easy!  It would take a LOT longer than a few days and would have many twists and turns. 

During the visa process, there were several days where we seriously wondered if our children would EVER come home.  One day in particular, I actually called George and told him that Caleb would NOT EVER be able to come home with me, so I needed to bite the bullet and arrange care for him in the Congo and return home.  His and the kids’ responses were “NO!  Stay longer – Keep fighting!  You HAVE to bring him home!”  I was willing to stay longer, but only if progress was being made, giving us SOME glimpse of hope for a happy ending.  I needed at least a glimpse of hope because every day Caleb and I were bonding more and more.  I knew how difficult it would be if I’d have to put him back in the orphanage and leave for an indefinite amount of time.  He was quickly learning who mommy is and would cry if I left to go to the bathroom for two minutes.  Just imagining what it would be like to say, “Good-bye” to Caleb and Andi was more than Vickie and I could bear!

............................................This little man and I were BONDED!!  :)

As difficult as this waiting was, when I would pray, I would be reminded of verses like, “Be still and know that I am God.”  “They that WAIT upon the Lord shall renew their strength….” etc.  At the time, I was thinking, “Really, God?  Wait longer?  UGH!!!”  The answers weren’t what I wanted to hear and I often wondered why the days were passing by.  I also KNEW that people at home were praying for us.  George would tell me about the emails, phone calls, meals, etc. from our supportive family, church family and friends and I’d be SO encouraged!  I have said to some of you that I’ve never “felt” people praying before, but I’m telling you – in this case, I “FELT” people praying!  I knew that we were supported and that in itself gave me hope. 

Our original “worst-case scenario” plane tickets were booked for the 21^st of November.  When the day we thought would be the LATEST we’d leave came, I knew why God had not allowed us to leave.  Caleb was really sick and we were hospitalized during that time.  We could NOT have left if we wanted to and it would have been BAD to have been on a plane with him as sick as he was.  God KNEW what He was doing and His timing was all for a reason (of course!!)

I will write more about our hospital stay in the next post…..

Happy Monday to you all!  Have a great week!

Trip Notes #1

So, I’ve been struggling with posting about the trip to the DRC to pick up Caleb.  How does one fit nearly six weeks worth of events into a little blog post?  I certainly don’t know how to do that, but in the end, I’ve decided that I will try to highlight our trip in three or four posts.

Our trip began on October 31, as many of you may have seen.  We flew from Harrisburg to Washington D.C. to Brussels and on to Kinshasa, with a stop to refuel in Cameroon.  We left on a Sunday after lunch and arrived at St. Anne’s in Kinshasa where we’d be staying at bedtime on Monday.  With the excitement and jet lag, we didn’t sleep much the first night.  The plan was for my sister-in-law and me to get our children at 9 am the next morning.  We, of course, were up very early with anticipation.  We waited and waited and waited.  Finally, somewhere around noon, the coordinator arrived carrying my niece inside.  I was snapping photos and videotaping Andi’s first meeting with her mama.  Now, you all need to know that I was THRILLED to be seeing my niece for the first time, but after a minute or two of taking pictures, I was getting anxious to meet Caleb.  I asked where my son was, thinking she would go and bring him to me, but instead, she told me there’d been a problem.  He’d been taken (kidnapped from the orphanage) that morning.  I can’t begin to describe the emotions that were running through me.  Even though I had not yet met Caleb, I loved him as much as I loved Emily, Chase, Hallie & Cameron.  I was sad (really sad!), angry, frustrated (come all the way to Africa and not get our child????!!), panic-stricken (was he safe?), etc. 

Here's a picture of Vickie and our beautiful niece, Andi

Through the coordinator’s broken English, I learned that Caleb’s birth mother had heard from someone on the street that he had been sold after she put him up for adoption.  She didn’t want him to be sold; she wanted him to be adopted.  Additionally, if the coordinator had sold him, his birth mother hadn’t got any of the money.  The coordinator felt that if I would speak with her and explain that all of my money went through the agency and that we did not BUY him, but adopt him, the birth mother would understand.  Thus, began a chase to find Caleb and “M” (his birth mother).  Vickie and I were put in a car with her new daughter and taken to sections of Kinshasa I’m sure we never would have seen.  We were in villages sitting in the car while the driver and coordinator asked people if they’d seen them.  At times, we felt very insecure – after all, we had NO idea where we were, we hadn’t registered with the Embassy, so no one “important” knew we were even in the DRC, Andi was hungry and not completely sure what was going on.  Since “M” is homeless, she was hard to track down.  Finally, after several hours and no success, we returned to St. Anne’s to allow the coordinator to continue the search. 

I remember arriving back to St. Anne’s feeling completely helpless and hopeless.  Up until that point, I hadn’t shown a lot of emotion, but had rather been focused on finding Caleb.  And, truthfully, there was NOT ONE thing I could do.  I remember Vickie trying to give me a hug, as I’m sure she felt my pain.  All I wanted to do was go to my room and cry.  I remember calling George and telling him that we didn’t have Caleb and that I did not know what the outcome would be.  I envisioned stepping off the plane without Caleb, seeing the faces of his siblings.  

This went on for four days.  This was one of the hardest weeks of my life.  The only bright spot was sweet Andi.:)  Finally, on Friday, I was told that I would be picking Caleb up at a courthouse because they ended up having to arrest “M”.  Below is the email I sent home a few days after going to the courthouse.

“….Caleb is soooo sweet!  It was love at first sight, which I knew because I loved him for months before seeing him.

This has been such a broken road, though. His gotcha day was not what I would've imagined in my wildest dreams!

I was taken to court last Friday. I thought I was just going to pick Caleb up - had no idea how the events would unfold. 

I was told to wait in the car with three bodyguards.  There was so much noise and people were coming up looking in the windows.

The attorney came out and told me that a judge had ruled in favor of birth mother and that we would have to come back Monday to appeal. I was totally crushed and started to cry.

All of a sudden the attorney came running out of the building again and said in broken English, "come!” I quickly followed through a crowd of people at dusk (the bus loaded with criminals had just left for jail and a large crowd had gathered and was very noisy - story in itself). Anyhow, I arrived at a building where they wouldn't let my bodyguards in.  I was told to follow a long dimly lit hall with holes and rickety steps past men armed with machine guns. I entered a dimly lit room with eight or nine people. It was hot and there were mosquitoes everywhere. Oddly enough, there was a TV playing that continued to play during the whole hearing.

I was shaking like crazy. It was all I could do to not cry because I had just been told Caleb was going to be with birth mother. This court room was not what I had imagined. The two sides sat across from each other on old sofas.  As I sat on the edge of the couch, trying not to look nervous, I scanned the room to look at faces. There was the judge with two men that were clearly his assistants, four attorneys and a couple other people. As I glanced around the room, there across from me was Caleb. I had no idea he would be there and seeing him for the first time took my breath away.  I will forever remember that feeling.

The entire court was in French and Lingala, so I had no idea what they were saying. I decided to just pray and to focus on Caleb. I kept wondering if it would be the first and LAST time I ever saw him. I was praying that wouldn't be the case, while trying to soak him all up in case it was.  By the time court was over, Caleb was squealing at me and smiling every time our eyes met.  When the judge (who felt more like a mafia boss) stood, I had no clue what had been decided until a man went and got Caleb from his birth mother and put him in my lap. He was slobbering all over me and putting his dirty hands in my mouth. He smelled like you WOULD NOT believe! He had on only a swimsuit and a shammy cloth for a diaper held on with a plastic bag. The diaper had clearly been soiled for DAYS. I kissed him and hugged him despite the dirt and stench. I told the birth mother how beautiful he was and how much George and I would love him and care for him.

I was (am) so mad at her for all we'd been through; yet I love her for bringing Caleb into this world. Incidentally she smelled too!  In fact, her attorney took out a bottle of deodorant and showed it to her before sending her over to sit by me. Everyone in the room laughed and even though the conversation was in French, I completely understood that. 

Since the legal systems here are not "normal" by our standards, I came away from court with not only Caleb, but also his birth mother. We were ordered to house her at St. Anne’s until we depart the country.

By the time we left the court building, it was well past dark. As soon as I passed the men with the machine guns, a bodyguard grabbed Caleb and two others quickly ushered me to the van. The birth mother followed. The van was quickly surrounded by people asking what had happened. Several members of Caleb's birth family were there introducing themselves. I couldn't see their faces because they blended with the darkness.   They were shaking my hand and speaking, though I couldn't understand a word and was too filled with emotion to even think clearly. I was just praying for safety and thanking God for the smelly baby in my lap.

We returned to St. Anne’s, but not without excitement. The driver, coordinator and bodyguards got in a fight and one of the guards came flying over the third seat and jumped out of our (slowly) moving van. They were yelling and screaming. I was scared, but the rest of the people in the van acted like stuff like that happens all the time.

When we arrived back at St. Anne's, a crowd of birth family had gathered there. I walked past them and into the safety of St. Anne’s. Found Vickie in the dining room eating a late supper. We hugged and cried and she told me that Caleb smelled.  Nice auntie, huh?!  J

After a picture or two (which were my first "gotcha day" pics) with the bodyguards, we gave Caleb his first SCRUB. It would take four baths to have him smell like a baby should.

Ok...I know this is long, but this is only a glimpse - and I mean glimpse - of what's been happening. In fact, it only covers a few hours from Friday night….”

So, that gives you all a small picture of what my first week in the D.R. Congo was like.  As you can see, it’s not the typical “Gotcha Day!”  But, being at home where I am now WITH Caleb, his daddy and his siblings, I can look back and see how GOOD God is!  We were kept safe despite some pretty scary and uncertain circumstances.  We met WONDERFUL people!  I can’t say enough about the St. Anne’s staff.  Father Theo was AWESOME!!!  The other guests there were unbelievably supportive.  I would later learn that many thought I would NEVER end up being able to bring Caleb home, but God is BIGGER than that!

Here's our first picutre of Caleb and me together with Vickie and Andi upon our arrival back to St. Anne's after court - and, of course, our bodyguards for two days.....:) 

                                     

Here’s a picture taken the next morning – after a bath and some clean clothes.  :)

Will continue posting about our journey in the next blog.

Happy weekend to you all!